So I go into his room and see that his fish tank looks suspiciously empty. Then I see that he has taken all of the big rocks and plants out of it and put the soggy bunch on top of his paperback books (of course). Then he had climbed on top of his desk to get the fish net and the rock vacuum - both were completely wet (the rock vacuum even had a rubber snake stuffed inside). Then I noticed something in the net. Yup, he had caught one of his little fishies and it looked like lights out for Sally.
So we take the net into the bathroom and Roman says that he wants to say a "pare" (prayer) for Sally. I said, okay, go ahead. This is what he said, completely uncut and uncensored,
I caughted Sally in the net
and now she is dead
now we can get a cleaner shrimp
in Jesus name amen
Then we empty the net into the toilet...and the fish starts swimming! It wasn't dead after all! I contemplate catching it again in the net and putting it back into the fish tank when it swims down the toilet drain. This sealed Sally's fate and she is now (no pun intended) sleeping with the fishes.
What did we learn from this crazy mishap? Roman is too young to have his own fish tank. We told him over and over again to never ever ever touch his fish tank, but the temptation was just too strong.
RIP Sally...and Max, Mary, Mel, Jack and of course Saggy the mystery snail. You will all be missed.